So there’s a little preface to the following story. Some “preliminary exposition,” if you would?

O’Reilly’s has just hired a bunch of new people. I will spare you the “preliminary exposition” requisite for THAT. At any rate, given the fact that O’Reilly’s has been around since, oh, 1926, it is sufficient to say that some of the buildings are slightly, um, Paleolithic. Consequently, the old staff accommodations are currently being quarantined – I mean, er, demolished! – in order to make room for new ones. Something a little more Cenozoic, perhaps?

At any rate, this demoralization – I mean demolishment! – necessitated that several of the staff people (including me) be relocated to alternate accommodations. Essentially, all the gentlemen from my department (Activities) were asked to vacate their current residences and move into a barracks that is owned by the Queensland Sparks and Wildfire Circus – er, I mean, the Queensland Parks and Wildlife Service. These barracks are just across the road from the guesthouse and have been used occasionally throughout the eons as housing for things like Australopithecus afarensis and (more recently) forest rangers.

For Tané and Duncan, two of my colleagues, this was a major step forward, considering their previous lodging. My prior accommodation was certainly more modern than the barracks are and included such splendid amenities as a private washer and dryer, shower, kitchenette, queen-sized bed, and toilet. Along with said amenities, however, came things like noisy neighbours. And along with noisy neighbours came (a) a lack of wildlife and (b) a lack of sleep. So there I was, tired and COMPLETELY surrounded by no critters. Suffice to say, I made the change quite amenably.

So now that you know WHY I moved, allow me to recount to you the particulars of said move! Let’s just say that there hadn’t been anybody living in the barracks since Australia was still part of Gondwana. And there were many, many spiderwebs to be dealt with. In the process of cleaning my new room, I killed three of these and one of these.

But my new house is amazing! Since I no longer live on the second floor, I have two exterior doors, one of which opens up into a private, fenced garden that is home to at least six species of birds and two species of orchids, just to name a couple things. Oh, and the barracks have drawers and closets, too! (I’d been living out of my suitcase until now due to a lack of furniture in my apartment.) AND! Since the staff village is approximately 200 metres away, I no longer care whether or not the residents of that locale continue shrieking like strung-out banshees and playing loud music at all hours of the night. It’s great!

So, all that to say that I moved. And though my new house is slightly older, I really consider it to be a step up.

Now all I need to do is figure out how to operate those two sticks that they told me constituted the central heating…