So what do YOU think of the whole peerage thing that they seem to embrace so freely in the United Kingdom? And no, this is not just one of those random questions.

Now, according to that convenient and highly reliable source of information known as “the Internet” (you know, Al Gore’s invention…), there hasn’t been anyone knighted in Australia since 3 March,1986.

Evidently, on 14 February of 1975 the queen decided that there should be a system of honours in place that would “supersede” all other honours conferred upon men and women of this humble continent, so with a magical wave of her scepter she created what was called the “Order of Australia,” or something like that.  There were five levels of honour included therein, with knights and dames at the very top and valet parking attendants at the bottom.  Or maybe it was pedicurists…  Anyway!  So they’ve got this system, ok?  Then in 1986, and for reasons unknown to 99.9997% of the world’s population (the other .0003% are the only ones who actually give a flying hoot about the whole “titles of nobility” nonsense), somebody decided that knighthoods and dame…doms(is that a word?) were against the rules.  I can picture the decree now…

“A serfdom shall be the extent of thy progression, and thy progression shall be to that of a serf.  To baron shalt thou not progress, neither shalt thou progress to peasantry excepting that thou proceedest regressing directly to back serfdom.  Thou shalt not progress to knighthood.  A duchy is totally out.”  Thank you, Mr. Python.

So all that to say the following: we had a guest staying with us the other day who absolutely insisted that we, the peasant rabble, only address her as “Lady Smith.”  (Obviously, “Smith” is a fictitious name that I have created to protect her privacy.  Hehehe…)  In fact, this is not her first visit to the O’Reilly’s fiefdom –I mean the guesthouse— and there are stories of her extendedly berating and verbally abusing previous employees who made the grave, grave mistake of calling her by her given name, Edith.  So this time, they gave us some warning in advance about her.

And the whole concept just made me sick.  It must be the American/Mexican/human being in me that was stirred into questioning whether or not it’s right that people should DEMAND that deference be afforded them simply because someone tapped them on the shoulder with a bit of a sword.  I can understand why one could enjoy the “feel-good” feeling that would accompany being called “sir” or “lady,” but when you command other people to address you thusly, isn’t it a little counterproductive?  There’s no respect behind it.  There’s no feeling other than hostility and resentment accompanying it.

And I, stubborn as I am, inwardly refused to call Edith “Lady Smith.”  I wasn’t going to stir the hornets’ nest by walking up and drawling, “How yer goin’, EDITH!?!?!???” but I absolutely refused to go all subservient for someone who had done nothing to earn my admiration.  So the whole time she was here I just called her “ma’am” in the most Sam Elliot fashion I could muster.

Ok, I’m done.