In which The Author quite begrudgingly flies from Puerto Suarez to Santa Cruz, Survives, and tells the Tale Of Not Only the Japanese auto industry, but Also That Of the Bedside Manner of the Flight Attendants of AeroSur, S.A., which amounts to That Of Christian Bale, were he a Doctor, which he is Not, Presumably Due To the fact that he has never been to Medical School, unlike The Author’s Sister, in whom He is Well Pleased.

I have already made one short foray into the mores of driving in South America. Allow me, if you would, so expand upon that ever so slightly and address the somewhat more salient case of transportation in general.

Specifically, on flying in Bolivia.

Specificallier, on flying from Puerto Suarez to Santa Cruz.

Specificalliest, on the trip from my house to the Puerto Suarez airport to Santa Cruz.

It is a little-known fact that, in Japan, it is against the law to allow one’s car to leak oil. As a result, the good citizens of Japan tend to sell their vehicles once they have passed the 50,000 mile mark. And where do those cars go, you ask? Bolivia, I say. Because it’s also a little-known fact that the Japanese, like their British, Australian, Kiwi, and South African comrades, drive on the wrong side of the car. This phenomenon does not work in favor of the Japanese exporting their low-mileage cars as it shrinks the buyer market, um, significantly.

That said, it is not that uncommon to climb into a taxi in Bolivia and witness the following (that would be Ken in the ex-driver seat).

The steering wheel, along with the turn signal lever and pedals, has been moved to the other side of the car and now juts out of what used to be the glove box.

This was our taxi to the Puerto Suarez (international) airport. We had decided to fly because by train (El Expreso del Oriente, affectionately termed the “Death Train” by my LonelyPlanet guidebook…) the 600-kilometer trip took 21 hours. By bus, it took 12 hours. And flying took 55 minutes.

Unless, of course, you happen to be flying on an AeroSur jet. The jet in question (ahem, OURS) flies twice weekly from Santa Cruz to Puerto Suarez and back; we were booked to depart from Puerto Suarez at 11:15 this morning but didn’t wind up leaving until nearly 1:30. Cue the following conversation between me and the airline attendant in the airport:

“Why is our plane not here?”

“Because it hasn’t left Santa Cruz yet.”

“I see. And why, pray tell, has it not left Santa Cruz?”

“Because it’s raining too hard to take off or land at Santa Cruz.”

Legitimate answer, I thought. Once we were airborne the truth came out, as truths are wont to do. The plane was late leaving Santa Cruz because, according to the flight attendant (who announced the following, in English and Spanish, INTO THE MICROPHONE) “neither engine would start.”

Thanks and have a great flight.